So, I've been trying to form a blog entry in my head for several days now, but my thoughts just keep spinning. If I had one word to describe how I feel about life right now, it would "Confused". There is a lot of pain around me that I don't understand. Anyway, I was driving home from St. Cloud tonight, and this song came on the radio. I didn't even realize that I was paying attention to the lyrics until I noticed my head felt lighter than it has in days. This song is pretty much how I'm feeling right now- about life, about faith. Going from 101.3 to 98.5 on my car radio may be turning out to be a good thing for me.
About that, I started listening to spiritual stations last week when I first was feeling a lot of sadness and grief. I was pretty cynical at first- all the talk about God didn't make me comforted at all- in fact I cried a lot because it didn't sound real to me and I was angry. But it started to become more comfortable, and tonight was the first time I was really, truly glad I had it on. It was the first time I felt like I truly benefited from it.
Anyway, this is "Two Hands", by Jars of Clay. I haven't quite made it to the final paragraph yet, as far as my life goes, but I trust I'll get there.
8 comments:
Laura, I'm so sorry you've been feeling pain and grief. You are so honest; it helps all of us experiencing pain at times in life, too. . . who aren't as brave as you.
I'm loving your playlist. Happy Belated Anniversary!
Love and hugs from AK.
You are refreshingly honest. I hope that your pain goes away soon.
can't say I particularly care for the song myself, but I do like the "if we keep digging we'll reach the foundations of our souls" line, since that feels like where I finally am :)
It is good to see you blogging again, Laura, and I hope you find a way to work through your struggles. Thinking about you.
word.
the process time always sucks, almost.
i really appreciate your posts right now. i have a hard time being honest about my own struggles, and it helps me to read about REAL life, that has ups and downs...
peace and love.
I LOVE that song! I think if you surround yourself with things spiritual, you will be able to absorb it as needed. I hope you continue to find solace in these lyrics and whatever other tools God gives you. You're stronger than you think you are... :)
I'm with Leanne in that you are stronger than you think! I'm so proud of you for hanging in there and going through the process, even when it is so painful. Chin up and call me anytime. :)
LOVE YOU!
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