July 2010

Tomorrow is August (...right? My mommy brain is on) and there is a lot to be said to sum up July.

*I had a whole long post written, but it was about as fun to read as the obituary section of the newspaper. I'll try sum up instead of giving you a detailed novel...

July was....tough. But still good. I'm still adjusting to mommyhood. I think I'm liking more each day. Or at least I love Dom more each day. He's full of tricks- rolling from his stomach to his back, talking like crazy, smiling, following us when we are talking and walking around him. He's a smart boy. And I LOVE him to death. This week marked the 6-week mark. I hear it's all a piece of cake from here. Ha.

We just got back from spending a week in the U.P. Dom has met a ton of family and friends in his short life so far. I am not the only one who loves him. Watching and listening to Davin's mom sing to him was enough to make my heart sing (since I can't carry a tune, I count on my heart). I loved watching Davin's dad with him- holding him like an airplane (which completely calms him down), rocking him, talking to him. I loved watching my nieces and nephews in Michigan meet him. Like I said- he is very loved.

We almost came home from the goob early (long story), but I'm glad we could stay until today. Camping with my family is i.n.s.a.n.e. I was pretty glad we had a warm bed to go back to after the day. But as much as my family is crazy, I love spending time with them. I truly feel blessed to have each and every one of my nieces and nephews in my life. We were only together for a short time, but I don't think there was a wasted moment. Between The Lake days, playing sand volleyball, wiffle ball, tossing a football (yeah, I have a mean spiral), eating, and eating some more, it went by fast. We did get out to Sedar Bay for some sauna and swimming- the water was AWESOME.

Oops, turning into another novel here. In summary... (bring back high school comp classes?), July has been a busy month, with a lot of running around. It's been fun, but now that Dom is six weeks old we're going to try settle into life here. No more road trips for a while. Time to find a routine and lower stress levels so I can enjoy my little dude, who is growing VERY fast before our eyes. Here's to a relaxing August!

Dom's first time in Lake Superior! :)

It's not all daisies

Or roses, if you prefer.

I have had this post brewing in my head since Dominic was born. I could never put it into words because my thoughts and feelings were steadily changing- it was a circus in my head- jumping, spinning, tossing of emotions. I *almost* wrote this post when I was most overwhelmed, but I didn't want to come off sounding ungrateful for this gift I have been given.

Oh, I'm talking about motherhood, by the way.

When you're waiting for your child, you hear wonderful stories from other moms- how a child changes your world for the better; life becomes so fulfilling; children make everything in life feel wonderful. What they decline to tell you is how exhausting it is to be a mother of a newborn. Yes, they tell you it's tiring, but never did I get the details of this exhaustion- just that I would lack sleep. Which, I should add, never fazed me because I am an insomniac. In fact, I thought being an insomniac would be an advantage as a new mom. I mean, heck, I'm up anyway- how hard can it be to feed and change a baby when I'm already up? Impossible, actually. Turns out I cannot sleep without my medication, and I cannot wake up with it. ...that's a whole other post...

And, truly, how do you entertain a newborn all.day.long? He's awake more and more each day, and more and more curious to see the world around him. But if he's in one spot too long- say more than five minutes, he gets bored and cries. It's musical baby gear- swing to the mobile, to the bouncer, to the other mobile....mostly, he wants to be held. A luxury he got from his daddy for the first three weeks of his life. And now that Daddy is back at work during the day, this mommy has to either pick up the slack or deal with a fussy babe.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby. I LOVE to hold him. Life IS better because of him. I DO feel more fulfilled. But I'm so damned tired. My heart hurts when he is upset and I can't seem to figure out what to do to make him content. My heart aches when he's awake and I can't keep my eyes open for him. My heart breaks when his daddy comes home and I have to hand him over and go lock myself in the bedroom for a good cry.

Everyone says- six weeks. At six weeks it gets easier. We're almost to four, and I *think* it's getting better. I don't want to wish away this stage, because he is so perfect to hold against my chest- he pulls up his legs and buries his face into my chest- straight into my chest so that he has to work harder to breath. It's loud, ridiculous- I mean, dude, just turn your head slightly- but it always makes me happy. He's so cozy to hold. So huggable, so kissable. And he gave his first smile to Grandma Ko----- on July 3rd, and has since given many of grins and coos to Davin and I. When I hold him against my chest he picks up his head to look at me. He's perfect. He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Yet I'm overwhelmed. I know this is normal. I'm just putting it out there for new mommys-to-be: it's pretty dang awesome, but it's not all daisies. Not by a long shot.

Blogging is so easy

When you can just post pics of your baby. Heehee.

*I'll get to my mommyhood post when this little dude allows me to be on the computer for more than 5 minutes at a time. :)