'Tis the season! I am warily caving in. It may be the nice cards we have been getting in the mail. Or the white crap on the ground. That's what I call snow, if you didn't already figure that. However, considering that is what I call it, I highly doubt it is the reason I am giving in to the Christmas spirit....or is it? One never knows with my twisted mind. Regardless, I have had my car radio tuned to 99.9 for the last couple days- all Christmas songs, all season long. And I have to admit- I love Christmas carols. Last week at the hospital the men's choir was rehearsing for the tree lighting ceremony and I had to stop and listen for a few minutes. Never mind that a nice elderly patient was waiting for me to bring him to his room. KIDDING- I had already taken him- I was just returning a wheelchair. :)
Anyhoo...there are so many beautiful carols. And fun ones. My favorite one is The Little Drummer Boy. Why? Because I love the tune- I love how it sounds. However, I realized the other day as it was playing on the radio that I don't all the words. This is how I am with music. I love a song for its sound, but rarely know all the lyrics. Sometimes I'll be singing along to a song on the radio and suddenly I realize what I'm singing, and I'm like "Whoa! That's a BAD song!" So my goal this Christmas season is to actually listen to the lyrics of the carols.
So, what's your favorite Christmas carol, and why?
By the way, after listening to all the lyrics of The Little Drummer Boy, it still is my favorite. :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
A birth mother's decision
When we started the adoption process, we were so consumed in ourselves. The home study and paperwork required us to look deeply into who we are as individuals and as husband and wife. We faced facts about ourselves that we would have never otherwise thought about. We took a hard look at our marriage. I was worried going in and facing all these deep issues, but was pleased to see how incredibly strong our marriage is. Davin and I balance each other very well, and we love and respect each other more than ever.
Anyway, a home study evaluates your life, but once it's over it is time to wait for a birth mother to choose you to raise her baby. It wasn't until Stephanie and Casey changed their minds about the adoption that we could see just how difficult it is for a birth mother to give her baby away. We were told from the start, and we thought we understood that it is very hard for a woman to place her baby for adoption, but I think we had under-estimated the extent of a birth mother's burden. Even when a woman knows she is not ready to be a mother or cannot provide for her child, she still loves him or her all the same. For those of you who are mother's, you can't imagine carrying your child for nine months, giving birth, and then handing this little life to someone else, trusting they will provide a better life that you could. It doesn't matter that a birth mother may not have wanted to get pregnant in the first place. It does not matter if she is 16 years old and trying to get through high school, or 30 and trying to get her life in order. Every woman who carries another life inside her loves that baby. No matter what. And it is that love that makes adoption so difficult, but also what makes it possible. A woman can only hand her child to another person to raise when she knows she cannot, for whatever reason, raise that baby, and she loves him or her way too much to try raise them in her situation.
In Stephanie's case, she was trying to get her life in order and panicked when she found out she was pregnant. Her love for her child immediately made her start an adoption plan. As things calmed, I believe she grew stronger as a person, as did the love for the baby she was carrying. She was lucky to have a strong support system to help her, and she found she could in fact raise her baby. How could anyone blame her for changing her mind?
Not every birth mother has family and friends like Stephanie. There are girls and women who would love to raise their babies, but just cannot. One of them who loves her baby so much, will choose us to raise him or her, and we will have a family. However, the mother will grieve. A birth mother placing her baby for adoption is losing her child. It is never easy for her. When I am rocking our baby to sleep someday I will be praying for his or her birth mother- I will pray that God will give her strength to help her through her loss, and that He will continue to watch over her always.
I cannot write exactly how I feel- it comes out all rambly, but what I am saying is a birth mother's decision is not easy. It is made out of love. And I will never take that for granted.
Anyway, a home study evaluates your life, but once it's over it is time to wait for a birth mother to choose you to raise her baby. It wasn't until Stephanie and Casey changed their minds about the adoption that we could see just how difficult it is for a birth mother to give her baby away. We were told from the start, and we thought we understood that it is very hard for a woman to place her baby for adoption, but I think we had under-estimated the extent of a birth mother's burden. Even when a woman knows she is not ready to be a mother or cannot provide for her child, she still loves him or her all the same. For those of you who are mother's, you can't imagine carrying your child for nine months, giving birth, and then handing this little life to someone else, trusting they will provide a better life that you could. It doesn't matter that a birth mother may not have wanted to get pregnant in the first place. It does not matter if she is 16 years old and trying to get through high school, or 30 and trying to get her life in order. Every woman who carries another life inside her loves that baby. No matter what. And it is that love that makes adoption so difficult, but also what makes it possible. A woman can only hand her child to another person to raise when she knows she cannot, for whatever reason, raise that baby, and she loves him or her way too much to try raise them in her situation.
In Stephanie's case, she was trying to get her life in order and panicked when she found out she was pregnant. Her love for her child immediately made her start an adoption plan. As things calmed, I believe she grew stronger as a person, as did the love for the baby she was carrying. She was lucky to have a strong support system to help her, and she found she could in fact raise her baby. How could anyone blame her for changing her mind?
Not every birth mother has family and friends like Stephanie. There are girls and women who would love to raise their babies, but just cannot. One of them who loves her baby so much, will choose us to raise him or her, and we will have a family. However, the mother will grieve. A birth mother placing her baby for adoption is losing her child. It is never easy for her. When I am rocking our baby to sleep someday I will be praying for his or her birth mother- I will pray that God will give her strength to help her through her loss, and that He will continue to watch over her always.
I cannot write exactly how I feel- it comes out all rambly, but what I am saying is a birth mother's decision is not easy. It is made out of love. And I will never take that for granted.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
10:26 pm
48) Every time I happen to see 10:26 pm on a digital clock a make a wish.
This started way back, I don't know, maybe when I was in high school. I noticed that I happened to look at my bedroom clock at exactly 10:26 pm many nights in a row. It was a pure coincidence. So, being the loopy-loop that I am, I started to make a wish each time I saw it. Rules developed over time- here they are, laid out for the first time ever.
1) I cannot sit and wait for 10:26. I can only make a wish if I randomly look at the clock and it is 10:26.
2) The wish has to be specific. For example, I cannot simply wish for a baby. That could mean I would get a baby 10 years from now. Nor can I wish for a baby this month. Because that could mean December of 2016.
3) The wish must be ended with a "Thank You".
4) Once I make the wish I have to shut my eyes and keep them shut until the clock turns to 10:27.
This can be tricky. When I see 10:26 I have no idea if I have 59 seconds or 4 seconds to make my wish. If the clock turns before I'm done, the wish is no good. Once I shut my eyes, I don't know how long they should be closed. If I open them and it is still 10:26 the wish won't come true. Likewise, if it is 10:28, the wish is also nixed.
10:26 pm seperates my wishes from my prayers. In my wishes I can wish for anything, no matter how bizarre. ...hm, that's probably why they never come true, hey? Even still, it's something I've been doing for years, and I'll probably be still being doing when I'm milking it in a nursing home.
Oh, and this all brings me to
49) My favorite number is 26. Because of above story, of course! :)
This started way back, I don't know, maybe when I was in high school. I noticed that I happened to look at my bedroom clock at exactly 10:26 pm many nights in a row. It was a pure coincidence. So, being the loopy-loop that I am, I started to make a wish each time I saw it. Rules developed over time- here they are, laid out for the first time ever.
1) I cannot sit and wait for 10:26. I can only make a wish if I randomly look at the clock and it is 10:26.
2) The wish has to be specific. For example, I cannot simply wish for a baby. That could mean I would get a baby 10 years from now. Nor can I wish for a baby this month. Because that could mean December of 2016.
3) The wish must be ended with a "Thank You".
4) Once I make the wish I have to shut my eyes and keep them shut until the clock turns to 10:27.
This can be tricky. When I see 10:26 I have no idea if I have 59 seconds or 4 seconds to make my wish. If the clock turns before I'm done, the wish is no good. Once I shut my eyes, I don't know how long they should be closed. If I open them and it is still 10:26 the wish won't come true. Likewise, if it is 10:28, the wish is also nixed.
10:26 pm seperates my wishes from my prayers. In my wishes I can wish for anything, no matter how bizarre. ...hm, that's probably why they never come true, hey? Even still, it's something I've been doing for years, and I'll probably be still being doing when I'm milking it in a nursing home.
Oh, and this all brings me to
49) My favorite number is 26. Because of above story, of course! :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Some more about me- YAY!
39) I would love to know how to dance for real, but I'm deathly afraid of taking lessons because I'm scared to find out exactly how bad I really am. Yes, J, there's my confession and the reason I don't want to go this weekend... :P
40) I say that I don't care what others think of me. The truth is, I do care. A lot. It's not so much about being liked- it's more about hoping I don't annoy or offend people.
41) Along those lines, I am very self-conscience. I am always thinking people must think I am ugly or dumb. Or annoying. ...wow, that was a deep confession.
42) Although I don't have a very high self-esteem, I am confident that I will be a good mom.
43) Today I heard a verse of Brahm's Lullaby FOUR times in four hours at the hospital- they play it each time a baby is born. This is the only downside of volunteering- reminds me how badly I want to be a mommy.
44) Switching topics: I lost my diamond engagement ring over a year ago. I still feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I do have a replacement band that I love, but it's still sickening that I would lose my wedding ring...
45) I have also lost every diamond earring I have owned. 4 total (two sets). I told Davin to quit replacing them- fake one's are much safer for me.
46) Although I seem to lose diamonds a lot, I never lose my keys. Seriously, if I don't know where they are, I find them within a minute or two.
47) However, my socks do disappear in the dryer, just like everyone else's.
40) I say that I don't care what others think of me. The truth is, I do care. A lot. It's not so much about being liked- it's more about hoping I don't annoy or offend people.
41) Along those lines, I am very self-conscience. I am always thinking people must think I am ugly or dumb. Or annoying. ...wow, that was a deep confession.
42) Although I don't have a very high self-esteem, I am confident that I will be a good mom.
43) Today I heard a verse of Brahm's Lullaby FOUR times in four hours at the hospital- they play it each time a baby is born. This is the only downside of volunteering- reminds me how badly I want to be a mommy.
44) Switching topics: I lost my diamond engagement ring over a year ago. I still feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I do have a replacement band that I love, but it's still sickening that I would lose my wedding ring...
45) I have also lost every diamond earring I have owned. 4 total (two sets). I told Davin to quit replacing them- fake one's are much safer for me.
46) Although I seem to lose diamonds a lot, I never lose my keys. Seriously, if I don't know where they are, I find them within a minute or two.
47) However, my socks do disappear in the dryer, just like everyone else's.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Missing airplane ride story...
I had posted a really, really funny story that somehow got lost. I don't know if I accidentally deleted it when I was editing it- or if someone thought it wasn't funny and hacked into my account and deleted it. Actually, someone probably thought it was so funny that they hacked into my account and deleted it so they could use it as their own original idea. ...that's probably what happened.
Anyway, here's the shortened version:
I was bored on the flight home from Vegas. I couldn't sleep and everyone around me was chatting away. So I pretended to talk in my sleep. People stopped talking. I heard someone say "should we wake her up?" and another say "no, I don't think we're supposed to." After a few mumbled phrases I stopped. And after about a minute the chatting started again.
Now, you may think that was just obnoxious- it was- but it was so much fun! And I kept a straight face! Davin thought it was weird, as did others, but hey, it kept me entertained for a few minutes! So if you're ever looking for something to do on a boring flight, take this into consideration. Just don't talk about bombs or anything. I suspect that may get you into some mighty trouble.
And there's the missing story...
Anyway, here's the shortened version:
I was bored on the flight home from Vegas. I couldn't sleep and everyone around me was chatting away. So I pretended to talk in my sleep. People stopped talking. I heard someone say "should we wake her up?" and another say "no, I don't think we're supposed to." After a few mumbled phrases I stopped. And after about a minute the chatting started again.
Now, you may think that was just obnoxious- it was- but it was so much fun! And I kept a straight face! Davin thought it was weird, as did others, but hey, it kept me entertained for a few minutes! So if you're ever looking for something to do on a boring flight, take this into consideration. Just don't talk about bombs or anything. I suspect that may get you into some mighty trouble.
And there's the missing story...
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