Not that I can really call myself a blogger at this point. How often does one have to blog to be considered a legit blogger?
Anyhoo, I am wondering what blog site you use, and why. I have Blogspot down pretty well, but I'm wondering if there is a better one for the next blog I'm starting. I want one that does not have advertisements, for sure, and one that is pretty user friendly. I would love your opinion. Thanks a gazillion! :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Twenty-nine
I wish I was a good story-teller, because the story of my 29th birthday is a pretty good one, and I know I can't do it justice, but here it is anyway.
Davin takes the day off work, and my parents (and Mary) take Dominic so we can go on a date. We start by going to Jared to look at rings. I lost my diamond ring over five years ago. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. We got a band to replace it, and we started slowly saving up for a new one. (No, we were not smart enough to have the first one on our home owner's insurance). Yesterday we were going to LOOK at rings. I never expected to get one. But we find the perfect band, and the perfect diamond, and, Wa-lah! I have a new ring. :)
Then we go shopping. I buy clothes that are not one, but TWO sizes smaller than I've been wearing. Honestly, as a day highlight, it was a toss up between this and the ring.
Oh, and lunch at Benihana. Yum.
We go to pick Dom up and are at my parents when The Storm starts. That was some crazy sh**. I start to feel anxious, and it gets worse when the power goes out. As soon as the sky lightens we head out. We start driving--- right into the storm. We stop at Lantto's because branches keep flying in front of us. When it seems to lighten up, we start driving again. We zig-zag through fallen trees and branches the rest of the way home.
We get home. I push the garage door opener. Nothing. The power is out. I go reach for my keys. Oops, no house keys- I left them inside because I didn't think I needed them. Davin's keys are locked in his car at the shop. Dominic is screeching in the back seat- it is past his bedtime and he is feeling like he has a fever.
Plan of action: bust into our house. For the second time. (The first time was when we were moving in- we found an open window and just had to knock the screen out). I have no idea what my part is, but I am holding a leatherman that is jammed in the door frame. Davin kicks in the door. I fly backward onto my a**, my shoulder hitting something and my arm scraping along something sharp on the way down. If I knew what our plan was, I would have picked the part of kicking a door in! But, whatever. We're in. We're soaked and sweaty and it's dark in the house, but we're home.
Dominic goes to sleep with out even one cry of protest. Poor boy is SO tired. I grab ice for my shoulder and we lay on the living room floor wondering if we should laugh, cry, or scream. I think we both just dozed off.
The power comes back on. I end my birthday by blowing out every candle we lit when the power was out. I may not have a had a cake, but I got to blow out a lot of candles!
The end.
Edited to Add: That was a really crappy telling of my birthday. But I'm still tired, so deal. :)
Davin takes the day off work, and my parents (and Mary) take Dominic so we can go on a date. We start by going to Jared to look at rings. I lost my diamond ring over five years ago. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. We got a band to replace it, and we started slowly saving up for a new one. (No, we were not smart enough to have the first one on our home owner's insurance). Yesterday we were going to LOOK at rings. I never expected to get one. But we find the perfect band, and the perfect diamond, and, Wa-lah! I have a new ring. :)
Then we go shopping. I buy clothes that are not one, but TWO sizes smaller than I've been wearing. Honestly, as a day highlight, it was a toss up between this and the ring.
Oh, and lunch at Benihana. Yum.
We go to pick Dom up and are at my parents when The Storm starts. That was some crazy sh**. I start to feel anxious, and it gets worse when the power goes out. As soon as the sky lightens we head out. We start driving--- right into the storm. We stop at Lantto's because branches keep flying in front of us. When it seems to lighten up, we start driving again. We zig-zag through fallen trees and branches the rest of the way home.
We get home. I push the garage door opener. Nothing. The power is out. I go reach for my keys. Oops, no house keys- I left them inside because I didn't think I needed them. Davin's keys are locked in his car at the shop. Dominic is screeching in the back seat- it is past his bedtime and he is feeling like he has a fever.
Plan of action: bust into our house. For the second time. (The first time was when we were moving in- we found an open window and just had to knock the screen out). I have no idea what my part is, but I am holding a leatherman that is jammed in the door frame. Davin kicks in the door. I fly backward onto my a**, my shoulder hitting something and my arm scraping along something sharp on the way down. If I knew what our plan was, I would have picked the part of kicking a door in! But, whatever. We're in. We're soaked and sweaty and it's dark in the house, but we're home.
Dominic goes to sleep with out even one cry of protest. Poor boy is SO tired. I grab ice for my shoulder and we lay on the living room floor wondering if we should laugh, cry, or scream. I think we both just dozed off.
The power comes back on. I end my birthday by blowing out every candle we lit when the power was out. I may not have a had a cake, but I got to blow out a lot of candles!
The end.
Edited to Add: That was a really crappy telling of my birthday. But I'm still tired, so deal. :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Coming up...
It was recently pointed out to me that I haven't blogged since February. Oops. I have do have a post floating through my head. I will get it done this weekend. Promise.
Here's a pic of my babe- look how big and CUTE he is!!! :)
Here's a pic of my babe- look how big and CUTE he is!!! :)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What *you* can know about my son's adoption
Apparently, people are curious about adoption. It's not just our adoption- everyone I know who has adopted faces the same curiosities. The problem I have is the line there is between innocent inquiries and nosy and rude questions. There is definitely a line, and it is not always clear. The line lays at different places depending on who I am talking to. It is more faint to those I am closest to. It is closer to me, exposing more details. The less I know someone, the clearer the line gets and the further away from me it is. Adoption is new to a lot of people in my life, and I've been trying to figure out how much you can know:
Dominic is our son. We were chosen by his birth mother, T, a couple months before he was born. We met her and her family and fell in love. The birth father is not in the picture. Dominic has two biological sisters, one who we have spent time with. We are facebook friends with T. We send each other photos of our children via internet and text messaging. It is an open adoption. However, his birth mom does not see herself as Dominic's mother. He is our son, and that's the way she wants it.
That's it. That's all you need to know. To some of people there are chunks of information missing in our story. Big gaping holes, big bits of information. But I am hear to tell you, what you read is our story. It's what you get. What you don't get is 'why' Dominic's birth mother chose to place him into our arms. It is none of your business, and please listen to me when I say this: Do NOT ask anyone this question. Perhaps not all adoptive mothers feel this way, but it puts ME in an awkward position. In the past eight-plus months I have fumbled through this question, trying to find the proper answer. I was unprepared, and often ended up sharing more than I wanted, which I would later regret. My answer now is, and will always be: It is a personal decision she made, and we love her for it. We love her and her children like family.
Along the same line, do not make comments like, "Oh, he has been given a chance in life", or "He is much better off with you than his birth mom", or "Are you afraid she will come take him from you if you keep an open adoption?". The love that we adoptive parents feel for our children's birth mothers is incredible, and when you say things like this we take it personally. I am very defensive of T, and always will be. She is a wonderful human being, she is a wonderful mother, and if you feel the need to insult her, don't do it to my face. I will defend her tooth and nail, but let's just not go there, okay? (And a FYI to those who choose to judge freely, her tattoos don't make her a bad person. I mean, it's just ridiculous to make assumptions based on ink. Period.)
As for other details, they are part of Dominic's story, for him to tell. He will always know he is adopted, although we don't want it to be his identity. Much like you wouldn't expect an alcoholic to meet you by saying, "Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic", we don't want Dom's life to be, "Hi, I'm Dominic, and I'm adopted". If that makes sense...
As a disclaimer, I want to say I am speaking for myself. I have talked about this with several adoptive parents who feel the same way. But I don't speak for every adoptive mother. I know there are situations where children who were left abandoned, or the birth mother truly could not, in any way, care for her child(ren). I have heard of poor relationships between adoptive families and birth families. Adoption is a personal issue, and it is up to each family to place that line, to decide what they are willing to share. Don't cross the line. Think about what you are asking. Does is really make a difference in your life? Most of the time, probably not. So don't ask it.
All that being said, I am more than willing to answer general questions about adoption. Or about our story before Dominic came into the picture. Leading up to being matched with a birth family can be a crazy roller coaster, and there is a lot involved- the home study, the networking, the scams. That stuff I'm willing to share, because so many people in my life know so little about adoption, and I would love to educate them. But when it comes to Dominic and his birth family, just don't go there.
Thank you, sincerely. :)
Dominic is our son. We were chosen by his birth mother, T, a couple months before he was born. We met her and her family and fell in love. The birth father is not in the picture. Dominic has two biological sisters, one who we have spent time with. We are facebook friends with T. We send each other photos of our children via internet and text messaging. It is an open adoption. However, his birth mom does not see herself as Dominic's mother. He is our son, and that's the way she wants it.
That's it. That's all you need to know. To some of people there are chunks of information missing in our story. Big gaping holes, big bits of information. But I am hear to tell you, what you read is our story. It's what you get. What you don't get is 'why' Dominic's birth mother chose to place him into our arms. It is none of your business, and please listen to me when I say this: Do NOT ask anyone this question. Perhaps not all adoptive mothers feel this way, but it puts ME in an awkward position. In the past eight-plus months I have fumbled through this question, trying to find the proper answer. I was unprepared, and often ended up sharing more than I wanted, which I would later regret. My answer now is, and will always be: It is a personal decision she made, and we love her for it. We love her and her children like family.
Along the same line, do not make comments like, "Oh, he has been given a chance in life", or "He is much better off with you than his birth mom", or "Are you afraid she will come take him from you if you keep an open adoption?". The love that we adoptive parents feel for our children's birth mothers is incredible, and when you say things like this we take it personally. I am very defensive of T, and always will be. She is a wonderful human being, she is a wonderful mother, and if you feel the need to insult her, don't do it to my face. I will defend her tooth and nail, but let's just not go there, okay? (And a FYI to those who choose to judge freely, her tattoos don't make her a bad person. I mean, it's just ridiculous to make assumptions based on ink. Period.)
As for other details, they are part of Dominic's story, for him to tell. He will always know he is adopted, although we don't want it to be his identity. Much like you wouldn't expect an alcoholic to meet you by saying, "Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic", we don't want Dom's life to be, "Hi, I'm Dominic, and I'm adopted". If that makes sense...
As a disclaimer, I want to say I am speaking for myself. I have talked about this with several adoptive parents who feel the same way. But I don't speak for every adoptive mother. I know there are situations where children who were left abandoned, or the birth mother truly could not, in any way, care for her child(ren). I have heard of poor relationships between adoptive families and birth families. Adoption is a personal issue, and it is up to each family to place that line, to decide what they are willing to share. Don't cross the line. Think about what you are asking. Does is really make a difference in your life? Most of the time, probably not. So don't ask it.
All that being said, I am more than willing to answer general questions about adoption. Or about our story before Dominic came into the picture. Leading up to being matched with a birth family can be a crazy roller coaster, and there is a lot involved- the home study, the networking, the scams. That stuff I'm willing to share, because so many people in my life know so little about adoption, and I would love to educate them. But when it comes to Dominic and his birth family, just don't go there.
Thank you, sincerely. :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Compromising With My Dreams
Three of my biggest dreams:
1) Play "Know or Go" on Ellen's show. Meet Ellen. (I will settle for being in her audience and dancing with her.)
2) Have front row seat to a Black-Eyed Peas concert at a small venue. (I will settle for decent seats at a large venue.)
3) Vacation in one of those bungalows that are set over the ocean- the ones where you that have a glass floor in the living room looking into the ocean, and you can jump right off your balcony into the Caribbean. (I will settle for another vacation at a Sandals in Jamaica.)
I wonder if I compromise with my dreams if they are more likely to come true??? I know we're planning on going to Jamaica or somewhere else tropical next year! :)
Oh, and did you know The Black-Eyed Peas are playing at halftime at the Superbowl tomorrow??? Freaky, frickin' AWESOME!
1) Play "Know or Go" on Ellen's show. Meet Ellen. (I will settle for being in her audience and dancing with her.)
2) Have front row seat to a Black-Eyed Peas concert at a small venue. (I will settle for decent seats at a large venue.)
3) Vacation in one of those bungalows that are set over the ocean- the ones where you that have a glass floor in the living room looking into the ocean, and you can jump right off your balcony into the Caribbean. (I will settle for another vacation at a Sandals in Jamaica.)
I wonder if I compromise with my dreams if they are more likely to come true??? I know we're planning on going to Jamaica or somewhere else tropical next year! :)
Oh, and did you know The Black-Eyed Peas are playing at halftime at the Superbowl tomorrow??? Freaky, frickin' AWESOME!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Holy crap!
It's been forever since I've blogged! Christmas was a freakin' lifetime ago! So do I do a Valentine's post, or should I just skip forward to the 4th of July? Oh, okay, I'll keep it current. Tidbits of my life between Christmas 2010 and now:
*Dominic is growing and growing. He has three teeth, with the fourth ready to pop. He loves to roll around the living room. He doesn't seem anywhere near crawling, but I'm okay with that. ;)
*I am doing my second 6-week Step Challenge through facebook. The first one was through the holiday season and I hurt my foot near the last two weeks. Spent a few days in walking cast. We're on week three of this challenge and I have had no pain- yay! I also started the Couch-to-5K program yesterday. My goal is to run a 5K this spring. There, I said it. I'm gonna run a 5K.
*I am back to practicing massage therapy! Who woulda thunk? Not me! But I love it, and it's my own business this time around so it's something new for me. I've been needing something for ME, and this does the trick!
*We are heading to Phoenix next week to see Dom's birth mom and his sisters. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. It will be great to see T and her girls, but traveling with an 8-month old doesn't sound appealing to me. But the forecast is in the mid-70's for next week, so who am I to complain?
*Gosh, my blog posts are boring. The only reason I had time to write anything is because my little college brother is watching the baby, and I have no massages scheduled, so I get to sit at Barnes and Noble and catch up on blogging. Too bad I don't have an exciting story to share, huh?
WAKE UP!!!!! (I'm done). Except for a current pic of the babe:
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