I have to break down all my adoption blogging- there's a lot to say. I'll start with the Why:
Davin and I are trying to start a family through the adoption process. It's been a heck (hey, I didn't swear) of a roller-coaster. I'll try start at the beginning:
Why are we adopting? It amazes me how many people ask why. They ask if we are unable to get pregnant- really, is that anyone's business??? Seriously, people have no tact. But since I'm blogging and sharing everything, I'll give you the honest and (kind of) long answer:
Davin and I have been married for over 8 years. Those of you close to us know the first few years were hell, as I dealt with severe mental problems (Maybe I'll cover that in another post). With Davin by my side, and God looking over us, we got through it. For our fifth wedding anniversary we went to Jamaica. I see that anniversary as a new beginning to our marriage. It was the first time I felt "normal". I felt healthy. Not only that, Davin and I came out with a stronger and happier relationship than anyone could ever ask for.
We always knew we wanted children- we even tried right when we got married- we now know it is blessing that we didn't have children through the rough years. We don't know that I cannot get pregnant. We don't know that I can. Doesn't matter. I am on medications that, if I were to get pregnant, I would have to go off of. We spent years stabalizing my health, and we are not willing to compromise how far I've come. Five years ago, I would have made a terrible mom. Today, I can be a good mom. I am healthy and happy, and we plan on keeping it that way. Therefore, adoption became a natural decision. It was easy. It feels right for us. I know some people see our decision of me staying on medication as selfish. There are babies born every day who need a mom and dad to love them. We will be lucky to raise one of those babies as our own.
That's the Why.
8 comments:
Hey kudos to you for going the adoption route. You stay on your medications - there is nothing selfish about choosing to make your life worth living.
We/I have struggled a bit with some of that mental stuff after a couple of the boys - most recently this spring, and it is NOTHING to mess with.
You and Davin are going to be amazing parents. Are you sick of me saying that? :)
Good for you. About everything. For telling the world this is who you are, take it or leave it. For sticking everything out. For knowing what is right for you. And for finding true happiness. You really deserve it, Laura.
A good mom? Nope, you'll be a GREAT mom!
I think you will be a great mom.
There is nothing selfish about making sure that you are healthy and well. Your continued good health benefits, you, your family, and any future child - and by adopting, you will be giving a home to a child who needs one. I don't see how either of those choices are selfish.
:)
Hello-
You do not know me, I am a friend of Mindi's and was checking out your blog. First of all, you had me in tears. This story is so the opposite of being selfish and those people who are saying or thinking those things are the ones who are selfish. I wish you the best as a mother, sounds like you will be a great mother!
Kristy S
aww Laura, this is so great to "read" about you and get to know you again, later in life. There is no shame in adopting and I hope and pray all goes well! Here's to happiness!!:)
It is never a selfish thing to stay on medication so you can be healthy and so you can 'live'. You're a brave person, Laura, and I'm glad you're able to be so open.
I think too many people are still 'in the dark' when it comes to depression and only when those who've suffered with it, talk about it, can others begin to 'understand'. There are so many types and circumstances when it comes to depression. It's a vast field, but each one who talks about their own experiences, brings new information to those who don't understand it - and, hopefully, courage to those who deal with it.
Sometimes the choices a person make are so personal and private and it's unfortunate when others say things without thinking, and perhaps without meaning to... The old adage is still true: It isn't fair to judge another until you've walked a mile in their shoes. :)
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