Sunshine and Hope

Like I mentioned before, we met with Stephanie and Oliver last weekend. We had lunch at a little Italian place in the cities. But nevermind the food (it was delicious!)- we got to see Stephanie and MEET Oliver! And is he a doll! I've blogged about my feelings when Stephanie initially decided to parent, and how those feelings changed once I talked to her and time passed. By the time she told us Oliver was born, we were genuinely happy for her. And now seeing her interact with him...my heart couldn't have been happier. She clearly loves him so much- he is one lucky little guy! He didn't like it one bit when I tried to feed him baby food, but I won't go into that... :D

At the risk of sounding extremely cheesy...that lunch was the ray of sunshine in what has been days of cloudy days. Truly. We have been pulling ourselves together, getting back into a normal routine. But Davin had been home from work all week- he did work from home a few days, but for the most part, we both kind of laid low. But seeing Stephanie, and seeing her as a mother...it was just sunshine. Pure light. And, more than ever, it gave me hope. I got back all the hope that I had lost since losing Kiya. It was all back. I still cried that night, for Kiya. I still miss her like crazy. But I believe that one day I will know the reason why she came into our lives. Why? Because we mourned the loss of our Nik. Then we met Oliver last Saturday. Davin and I talked about it when we left, and we agreed: Nik no longer felt like a loss. It has been said many times that Kiya is our second loss, and, technically, she is, but it doesn't feel like it. I mean, I see Oliver, and he's where he belongs. There is no sadness from us- quite the opposite. I think about Oliver, and I smile...

Stephanie, if you're reading this- thank you. Thank you for choosing us. Thank you for keeping in touch after having Oliver. You're a wonderful friend.

ETA: We went back in the book today...